April 14, 2009

I want a cig... REAL BAD!

I'm attempting to quit smoking, and I'm really wanting a cig. Lately, I've been feeling really, really, really tired, and I suspect it's because of lack of nicotine (a stimulant). I'm using patches and have had 3 cigs in the past 4 days. Apparently patches can cause vivid dreams if you wear one at night, and last night I wore one to bed accidentally.
My mom and I were at Lowe's looking for cement, but Lowe's was also half of a salvage yard and reptile store. We were walking back to the reptile section when I noticed a gator had gotten out. I started to run and yelled for my mom to run too. She looked at me and asked why she should run. I told her that gators can run 30 mph on dry land. The gator started going after her and we were both booking it. On the way out of the Lowe's part, I considered buying the cement but figured I didn't have enough time to buy it and get away from the gator. Then I was suddenly on a space shuttle or something trying to get to the moon, but the shuttle crashed on the side of a mountain and I spent the rest of the dream walking through fields and meadows on a mountain side while avoiding gangsters trying to catch me.
Looking up how fast alligators can run, I was actually pretty darn close in my dream. The mountains were also quite Alpine. No telling how the shuttle crashed there. Basically it was a whole lot of weird and very vivid. I woke up and tried going back to sleep after removing the patch. After half an hour or so, I got up and went to watch TV in the living room. I managed to fall asleep out there after a while.

Thankfully I haven't felt any depression or anxiety (both side effects from smoking cessation), but with the lethargy and weird dreams, this shit sucks. To make it worse, caffeine and alcohol both make you want to smoke more which is why you see a lot of smokers puffing away at bars and cafes. Consequently, trying to perk myself up with some caffeine makes me want to smoke more, so I'm keeping the caffeine to normal levels and dealing with the lethargy.

In other news, I bought up at the after-Easter sale at Target and Lowe's yesterday. I bought 15 lilies at Lowe's for $1 each (marked down from nearly $7), and at Target, I bought loads of Reese's eggs, Cadbury cream eggs, and a cake stand. I also bought some copper plant markers, but they weren't part of the Easter sale. Still $1 for short copper plant markers seems like a good deal to me. I ALMOST bought a bunch of fiberglass pots but decided against them.


  1. I feel you on the cigs girl. They seem so innocent. If I had 3 wishes from a genie in a bottle one wish would be that cigarettes would be harmless as gum.

  2. AR~~ What an interesting dream. I'm always (perhaps ad nauseum) attempting to interpret my own and my family's dreams. A few years ago I bought a dream dictionary but they are apparently fairly subjective. Your main themes seem to be confusion and being chased/threatened. Hmm...

    I wish you success on your cessation. I quit years ago but I still remember it not being easy. Shopping, as you so well illustrated, definitely helps!

  3. I just read at the blog Getting Grounded that it boosts your serotonin levels to dig in the dirt. Now we know why gardeners are obsessed. Try that. And good luck to you!

  4. Glad to find your blog! I enjoyed catching up on it just now. And good luck with the ciggies ... the time before the last time my boyfriend quit (he's quit quitting for the time being, but please don't follow his example. Quitting multiple times just prolongs the pain and suffering for you and all your loved ones!) he used the patch and definately had crazy, crazy dreams every night. (It was quite entertaining for me, but don't tell him that!)

  5. Yeah, I am trying to quit to, I don't sleep with the patch on at night for the same reason you had the weird dreams. I am going to start taking chantix, it's prescribed by a doctor and it is a anti-depression pill at a very low dose. My co-worker quit just like it was nothing wish I could do that. Anyways good luck.

  6. Hi,glad to have found your blog. My partner just quit smoking cold turkey in Dec. after 3 packs a day for over 20 years, so I give you the "WOW!" for the month. I'm just not that brave - cudos.

  7. Congrats on quitting. It must be very hard, and I wish you luck! My sister quit a 10-year habit a couple of years ago and then took up marathoning. She says she feels great, and I know you will too.

  8. Crazy dream! I'm trying to get my husband to quit, but I know it's tough. I read somewhere that tobacco mosaic virus can infect other plants (veggies) subject to mosaic viruses, so he's not allowed anywhere near the veggies while smoking - maybe it will get to be such a pain in the a** that he'll just quit! LOL.

  9. Your post just made me laugh! I scrolled down to where you were describing your dreams (only I hadn't read the bit about it being a dream !) and there I was thinking oh my God what a terrible experience !! and then I read it was a dream. phew what a relief !
    I have never in my life smoked,tried one ciggie when I was a teenager (as you do !) and HATED it. But having worked in a pharmacy I have seem how hard it is for people to give it up. I have also seen patients die from smoking related diseases, so try and keep it going KICK that habit, it will be worth it in the end.
    good luck with it

  10. Don't give up ok. Like Maureen said, it will be worth it :-) Have a good day!


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